Oh, the upfronts — the most wonderful time of the television year, when the networks announce their new shows and there seems like so much promise in the air. So much potential. Maybe there’s a new Lost in this bunch, or a new Grey’s Anatomy. Will the next Friends emerge? Or the next 24? (What’s that you say? The old 24 is coming back? Awesome!)
As the networks roll out their new fare, I thought it would be fun to look at what we know about each network’s new shows and play a version of that old game ‘Date, Marry, Kill,’ or, as it’s known more coarsely in some parts, ‘F*ck, Marry, Kill.’ (Since this is a family-friendly blog [wink wink] we’ll go with the tamer title.] We don’t have a lot of information to go on yet — mostly just a description, a cast list, and, in some cases, a few photos and a trailer. But having very little information never stopped me from making a snap judgement before!
Here’s what each of the categories means in this version of the game:
- Date means “I’ll maybe check you out once or twice and see how we click.” In other words, you’ll get DVR’ed, but I’m not promising a first viewing, let alone a season pass.
- Marry means “I already know I love you and want to spend the rest of your life with you, whether that’s 13 episodes or 13 seasons.” (Remember, divorce is always an option.)
- Kill means “Don’t look at me. I, and my DVR, want nothing to do with you.”
So, with the full knowledge that these thoughts are based on almost no information, here we go with NBC’s new shows, in alphabetical order…
(To read full descriptions of NBC’s new shows, view their press release here)
About a Boy — MARRY
Based on the charming Hugh Grant movie, they had me at Jason Katims, executive producer of Friday Night Lights and Parenthood. I’m in for the long haul.
Believe — DATE
Revolution was my ultimate date show in the 2012/13 season — after 2 meet-ups I was no longer returning calls. Will this JJ Abrams-produced show, about an orphaned girl and her “protector,” recreate that pattern?
The Blacklist — MARRY
Maybe I’m buying NBC’s hype that this is the highest testing show in the history of television (or some hooey like that), but the trailer is pretty damn compelling, and James Spader even managed to make Boston Legal somewhat watchable. I’m sold.
Chicago PD — DATE
No photos or trailers yet, but based on the fact that it’s a spin-off of the uninspired Chicago Fire, it’s not hard to imagine what it will be. But let’s be honest, how long I watch really depends on if the cast of cops is as hot as the cast of the original show’s firefighters.
Crisis — MARRY
Now, this is my kinda show. At least on paper. Starring Dermot Mulroney and Gillian Anderson, long referred to as “Untitled Rand Ravich Project,” promises to be an intelligent, emotionally charged action thriller. Yes and yes.
Crossbones — KILL
John Malkovich is great. But pirate drama? Um, no.
Dracula — KILL
Dracula would want me to kill him. It’s only right. Plus Jonathan Rhys-Meyers’ eyes freak me out.
The Family Guide — DATE
Parker Posey has already dropped out of this comedy about a divorced couple and their two kids. Is she trying to tell us something?
Ironside — DATE
I love Blair Underwood as much, if not more, as anyone, but this remake will have to have a few tricks up its sleeve to keep me engaged. But seriously, let’s talk about Blair Underwood again — has he aged a day since LA Law? Yum!
The Michael J. Fox Show — DATE
I love the Family Ties star, but will he be able to recapture the old magic? And why did NBC schedule this at 9:30 on Thursdays instead of the higher profile 9:00 slot? Should we be reading into that move?
Night Shift — DATE
No images or trailer for this one yet, so hard to tell if it’s the next ER or the next Three Rivers. (Anyone remember Three Rivers?) Still, I love me a good medical drama (see my post Where Have All The Medical Dramas Gone?), so I’m willing to give it at least a shot.
Sean Saves the World — DATE
I’m rooting for Will and Grace star Sean Hayes, but I already find the laugh track in the trailer insufferable. Can the incomparable Linda Lavin elevate this beyond the usual multi-camera dreck?
Undateable — DATE
Billed as “a refreshing comedy about the ‘do’s,’ ‘don’ts’ and ‘duhs’ of dating,” this would ordinarily get immediately put into the KILL pile if it wasn’t created by Bill Lawrence, the mind behind the underappreciated Cougar Town. That, alone, earns it at least a first meeting to see if it lives up to its title.
Welcome to the Family — DATE
Mike O’Malley was so wonderful as Kurt’s father on Glee, but can he save this comedy that looks to be based on the foundation of ethnic stereotypes. O’Malley alone saves it from a KILL.
And there you have it — NBC’s 2013/14 new shows. What are your thoughts?